Stacy’s Mom(Jeans) Ain’t Got it Going On

What’s old is new is a little lie, at least when it comes to fashion. When an old trend is resurrected, it usually has a modern twist that allows it to live again, even if some of us wish it remained in retirement – or was pronounced dead on arrival. That is my wish, despite the opinion of popular culture and my fashion forward niece, for mom jeans.

If you were born in any year of a decade that begins with a 7 or an 8, these articles of clothing should not only make you cringe, but make you think of this:

This clip aired on SNL in 2003, when we  stood on the ugly, I mean right, side of mom jeans.

That is why I’m failing to share in the excitement from anyone above the age of 35 over their comeback.  Take a conversation I had with someone, (whom we will call A. Friend), during a recent trip to Nordstrom:

“Omg – mom jeans are back!” Her voice rang out, beckoning me to see.

I put an unattainable pair of Golden Goose sneakers back in their proper place. “Ewww – why??”

“They’re IN.”

Now I lowered my head and peered at her as if I was wearing sunglasses, even though we were inside. “That does not mean you should put them ON.”

One would think, at the age of 46, with two pregnancies behind me, I would have delighted in this resurgence and ran to the register with a few pairs. I did no such thing.

A similar conversation occurred with my twelve year old niece, who was actually wearing them the other day.

“You like mom jeans?” I couldn’t help but ask. 

She nodded vigorously. “Didn’t you wear them when you were young?”

“No. No, I did not.” 

She looked confused. “Why?”

I thought back to my young adulthood, when boys spent hours trading wildly inappropriate mom jokes with each other, and girls wondered if they were headed for denim disaster in ten to fifteen years. Neither of these thoughts seemed like answers a cool, yet sage aunt should give to her niece.

“Because I wasn’t a mom. And you’re twelve – you don’t need them!” That’s what I came up with.

But that’s what everyone is failing to understand. They are called mom jeans because no one else used to wear them except, you guessed it, moms!  And they were meant to hide the wondrous female physique that had borne children. The very fabric of their being made young people think moms were frumpy and only capable of having good mom genes. That, my friends, is the total opposite of what we can – and should –  be thinking in 2020. Not all superheroes wear capes, but they all should wear a pair of great fitting jeans.